The fears we give ourselves.May 31, 2014 at 4:36 PM | Posted in Storm Chasing Vacation 2014 | Leave a comment
Tags: fear, uncertainty
I’m sitting in a hotel room in Norman, Oklahoma and I think I have been through the worst part of my journey.
Uncertainty is a great fear of mine. I used to think I was quite adventurous but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not. A large part comes from being comfortable in my everyday life, but it’s becoming more due to the closing in field vision I have been more uncertain about my place in the world.
New places turn everything into hazards: small children, garbage cans, signs, poles, support columns, chairs, suitcases, curbs, stairs, feet, carpet, air, etc. a All hazards.
I managed to only step on 1 or 2 suitcases, and managed to not run into a couple children.
However the fear is still there.
Another thing is the fear of things not being the way you thought they would be, like if the info I was given was wrong, if I get on the wrong plane, if I can’t get to the hotel, if when I get there my name wasn’t included on a list I’m very good at worse-case scenarios.
I’m pretty sure I know why I am that way. I was in a world of certainty when I was younger and when that world was skewed I started making sure I would be ready for the worst case situation. To make sure I wouldn’t be taken by surprise. I wouldn’t be as hurt when the other shoe dropped that I always wait for to occur.
My hope is the more I get out there in the world the more I can let go of many fears.