It’s My Party, And I’ll Be Happy If I Want To..

May 31, 2011 at 10:14 PM | Posted in Giving thanks | Leave a comment
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This past weekend was one of the most enjoyable birthday weekends I have ever had. I am normally mopey at my birthdays. Last year I had about 10 people over and not everyone knew each other so they stuck to their groups. I stayed to the side, not mingling with anyone and being an awkward guest at my own party. This year was quite different.

After my most recent therapy session I had a very large burden removed from my shoulders and I feel amazing. It took someone else to help me realize I am allowed to make the choice to be happy. I am in control of my own happiness. I was overly punishing myself for a past sin. I made it so I could never be happy because I didn’t think I deserved to be for my one big mistake. My human mistake. I have overly atoned for it. That is not to say I am completely over it and can forget it completely. I just need to realize that sin does not make me who I am.

This weekend I found myself not feeling ashamed for being happy and enjoying myself. I didn’t feel like hiding from the world. This was my time.

My actual birthday (Friday) I ran errands with my husband (who took a vacation day for me) and my Mom. We went to the library, picked out some books. Then on to a bakery a friend used to work at and brought delicious goodies for us. I bought a giant cake (that took a while to finish and every piece was difficult to finish because there was so much and it was so decadent!) Then onwards to the grocery store to pick up pizzas freshly made to be baked later and they happened to have a special on frappucinos at the coffee shop. Yay! Half off? Yes, please! Both my sister and Dad called during the day to wish me a happy birthday. Then a trip to a bookstore where I got more books and some new speakers for my mp3 player. The evening was really fun. Friends, Dr. Who and lots of food. It was a great night.

The next day my husband and I went to the Goodwill and I actually found jeans that fit, TWO pair. I of course purchased them! That’s a rare find for someone of my size. We also had checked out a gaming store near us and found a great tee shirt with Daleks on it for our friend. We also went to the Goodwill’s electronics store and it was like going into a computer museum! I took a nap when we got home because the first Goodwill store has poor lighting for my eyes and they were really tired. I was a little nauseous from it. Later that evening my old boss from the flower shop in Wyoming and her husband and baby had come into town so we went out to dinner. It took a while to get a table but we were trying to eat down in Old Market and it gets busy there on a Saturday night. It was a lovely meal with good conversation and the most laid back baby I have ever seen. She was simply adorable. She is 11 months old and already has a fake smile and fake laugh to deal with the world. I love it! We then went to an ice cream shop and enjoyed some more good conversation.

Sunday morning my husband and I watched an episode of True Blood and then I had to get ready.  A friend of mine and I went and saw Wicked. It was amazing. It was my first time seeing it, I had read the book but it was very different. The songs were great, the acting was great and the sets were gorgeous! So many sparkles on Glinda’s dress! The theatre (yes spellcheck tells me to say theater but I lived in England and I like to spell some things their way!) was a little difficult to navigate because it is so lowly lit for some reason. I made my way up and down stairs without tripping so I say it was a win! Afterwards the friend hung out at our place while we made characters for various role-playing games we are in while watching Mythbusters.

Monday was a laid back day. My husband and I sat on the couch in the morning and read books  which was a rare treat seeing as he normally is at work on a Monday. We did go to our friend’s apartment to continue character creation (and watch Moulin Rouge), but just for a few hours. We came home, I mad dinner and we watched a movie. Another nice evening.

I felt energized by this weekend. I want to thank everyone that made its awesomeness happen! I may be limited of vision but there is no limit as to how happy I can be and am allowed to be.


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