Where there is light, there is always dark.March 8, 2011 at 11:01 PM | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
Still thankful for what I do have in the vision department (and of course everything else I have in life), but there also comes with it the dark side of things. Both the physical darkness and the soul’s darkness.
Not every day is wonderful.
I almost want to leave it at that last sentence. I can look at those 5 simple words and contemplate how everything is fully described by them.
Not every moment is wonderful.
Sometimes I can be happily going about my business; making dinner, reading a book, or even just walking, when I am hit by a wall. Realization of how difficult these things are to me now and how much I am straining. I have to stop in my tracks and take a breath. I have moments (such like right now) where my eyes fill up threatening a torrent of tears. This usually makes things worse as it blurs the already spotty view.
The despair, the fear, the loss is always on the tip of my heart and I feel it may go over the edge at any moment.
I want to go into a whiny rant about everything that I despair about, everything I fear in this world, and everything I am losing. I just don’t have the energy for it. I don’t have the energy for the sorrow or for the pity.
I just want to say that everyday is not sunshine and fluffy bunnies.
However, these dark clouds can be a comfort.
Plus, how else can I enjoy the good days if I don’t know the bad?