It’s Okay.

March 19, 2013 at 10:46 PM | Posted in Change the World, Despair, EYE believe | 2 Comments
Tags: , , ,

My eyesight is not being happy of late (I’m quite sure it’s stress related for the most part). I’ve fallen down twice in over a week and I’ve nearly fallen many other times. Stairs are a huge problem now. I’m having trouble even in daylight to discern where they end and begin.
I plan on getting my field of vision mapped again and it will be interesting to compare how much has changed.
I really need to find a lightweight walking stick to help out but that requires research and a way to get to where I need to go.

On a related note, I’m really disappointed by Omaha’s transit system. They don’t run very late at all. They have a transit center at one of the local community colleges yet they don’t run all their busses after evening classes are done. Also there’s a storm chasing class I’d like to take but it’s at a spot where I wouldn’t be able to take the bus home. This town is not accessibility friendly. Not for low-visioned individuals or non-car owners. Perhaps I should get more vocal about it along with the issue that only legally blind people are allowed by law to use white canes. I may just do that…

There are so many days where it just feels great to be alive. I crave those days. I didn’t understand those days for a long time and lived in the presumed comfort of misery. It was safer, I knew what to expect. The only thing that could make misery worse was more misery and you already were feeling it so it wasn’t as scary. Great days were dangerous, the difference to misery is so much greater so I didn’t think it was a good idea to have a good anything. It was safer.
I have now, with the help of therapy, have come to realize how good it is to have good in your life. It’s deserved and should be a part of everyone’s life.
I’ve also come to the place where bad times are okay, too. I know they still happen, I just need to not live in them. Getting back on the horse is the name of the game.
Even when feeling soul crushing despair I know it’s okay to feel this way. I know I don’t have to feel this always. For now it’s here and I need to work it through. Tomorrow will bring something better because I can start the day differently than how I ended the last.

20130320-001653.jpg
Sunset from a while ago

About these ads

2 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. I admire you so very much, every time I read one of these, just increases my admiration for my beautiful daughter. Find that can so you can stop hurting your beautiful body. Love you muchly, MamaRo

  2. Yes yes yes. You do not need to feel that way all the time. It is one thing to always stay down, but how does one know happiness without sadness? I am SO glad you have a good therapist and are working and willing to work to be someone you love.

    As a sidenote, if you have an inflatable bed or other bed object, you can stay with me if your living situation is too cramped or whiney. I returned the food bed I bought so I don’t have a spare anymore. I’ll leave you to your own devices as much or as little as you want.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com. | The Pool Theme.
Entries and comments feeds.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 188 other followers

%d bloggers like this: